This week had an interesting start. I’ve been feeling great and pleased with my workout consistency and following of the food plan. On Tuesday, I even noticed that a shirt I had worn a couple weeks before was fitting more loosely and the pants I put on for Body Back were loose in the back. Of course, more importantly, mentally I was confident in my progress during this session. I arrived at class, stepped on the scale for the weekly weigh-in, and….the scale said I had gained half of a pound. I was shocked and upset. I had a hard time focusing one hundred percent on the workout and cried on the way home.
Before you scoff about a mere half pound, I hope you let me explain why I was bothered (and why it isn’t bothering me now). Throughout the session, I have consistently lost weight each week. I have maintained the same workout schedule, the same food plan, etc., for the entire time. When I saw a gain, I was incredibly confused. It just didn’t make sense and I couldn’t shake the frustration. In that moment, any explanations, reasons, and rational thought wasn’t where my mind first went. I have been so dedicated to this program and my fear was that I was wasting my opportunity. I’m an analytical person (admittedly I OVERanalyze sometimes...) so on my drive home, I thought about the last week and what I had done. I thought about what could cause a scale to show a weight gain. I thought about how annoyed I was with myself for letting the number on the scale that night bother me so much. My husband has been incredibly supportive during this journey and once again did an amazing job of reminding me of all I have achieved so far and that a “gain” of such a small amount isn’t anything to fret about. I also shared my frustration with my Body Back instructor and group (we have a private Facebook group where we communicate a lot) and was so encouraged by them, too. Everyone did a great job of easing my concerns and reminding me that I truly have nothing to be upset about or disappointed in. There are many factors that can contribute to the scale showing a half pound change (water, scale being “off”, etc.) and I knew coming into the program that my body would adjust to a healthy weight for me. As far as tracking my success and progress in Body Back, there are also so many more ways to measure this than just weight - inches lost, improvement in exercises tests, stamina, a healthier view of food. My mindset (pertaining to physique) from the beginning was that I wanted to lose weight but most importantly I wanted to be able to fit into two pairs of my favorite jeans that I haven’t been able to wear for a long time (one from before Eli and the other from before Aaron). I have officially achieved that (I can now wear a pair of jeans that I haven’t been able to wear for over FOUR years! Thank you, Body Back, for trimming down my thighs and butt!) and that feels absolutely amazing. I’m disappointed in myself for letting something so small momentarily cloud my view of the incredible progress I have made in just seven short weeks.
It may be something silly and perhaps some of you are rolling your eyes about half a pound bothering me but it was a huge learning lesson for me this week. I think a lot of people can relate to being bothered by something and letting it prevent you from viewing the bigger (and more positive) picture. For me, it was a humbling reminder to not be so hard on myself. I felt like I had done something wrong and didn’t take the time to remind myself that I am more than a number. I have achieved more than what that number on the scale says. Before stepping on that scale on Tuesday, I was confident in how hard I had worked. I was proud of how I looked and how my clothes were fitting. I was happy that eating healthier was feeling normal and not like something that made me feel hemmed in. Within five seconds, I allowed myself to forget all of that. This situation reminded me of how essential a great support system is, especially during a major journey like I have been on. Everyone (very very very kindly) kicked me in the butt and said, “Move beyond this tiny moment.” By Wednesday afternoon, I was feeling much better and thinking so much more rationally and realistically about the entire situation. (Oh, and on Friday, I had a cinnamon sugar doughnut from Robinette’s….TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID SCALE!) :) The entire situation was a great lesson in acknowledging the hard work you have put into something and giving yourself credit where credit is due.
Moving beyond that, the rest of the week was great. It’s hard for me to pick out a specific thing to discuss from the rest of the week because I really do feel like I’ve mostly settled into a routine that feels normal. That’s not to say that I’m not looking forward to eating some different food in another week but I’ve established some really important habits that I know will be incredibly beneficial for maintaining what I have worked hard for. My oldest son has also started asking me when I’m going to workout and enjoys doing the first few minutes with me. I love that extra reminder of one of the reasons I want to be fit and healthy! My family needs me! :)
I realize that this post was a bit more rambling than others and it certainly was a tough/vulnerable one for me. As always, I hope and pray that by sharing my genuine feelings and experiences, I am able to encourage someone in whatever journey they are currently on.
Hard to believe it but only one more week of Body Back! Looking forward to sharing my final thoughts on the program, what I have learned, and how I hope to implement what I have learned going forward. Until next week!
p.s. This week’s picture is another comparison but was especially important to me because the picture on the right was taken on Tuesday, just a couple hours before I was weighed. It now serves as an even greater reminder of why I’m doing this and all that I have achieved!